Ya’ll Are Driving Me Crazy!

21 Dec

peter black and white_peterisms

As I’ve stated before, I’m a bit of a social media whore.  Actually, that’s putting it lightly.  Most of my friends my age make fun of me for being on every social network site known to man, but I don’t care.  I love it.  But this week I’ve been pushed over the edge! Ya’ll are driving me crazing with your posts, emails and crazy status updates…not to mention invites to a plethora of games I’ve never even heard of before!

Here are my complaints:

1. STOP complaining about Christmas.  It’s a magical time of year and I’m tired of hearing everyone complain about spending money, their crazy families and all of the Christmas music.  Be original and make a few gifts this year.  Find new music to listen to that is inspiring and mystical.  And if you can’t stand your family, stand back and be happy you have a family to spend Christmas with this year! You could be alone like tons of other people or have no family at all!

2. I’m bored senseless with this whole Duck Dynasty thang! I don’t give a fuck what some low-rent, uneducated, hilljack, motherfucker thinks about me.  And neither should you.  Instead, think about all of the people you pass in a day that think the exact same way he does! Maybe the real lesson is that we should find love and compassion for those poor, close minded souls who aren’t as enlightened as others.  It’s their loss that they won’t have amazing gay people in their lives simply because of who we love and what we do in our bedrooms…or hotel rooms…or wherever! But if you’re bored, for a little fun, check out the supposedly fake nudes of Duck Dynasty wife Korie Robertson. High-larious!

3. If you invite me to a game or two on Facebook, I’m tolerant.  If you invite me to 15 games a day, you’re deleted.  My friends know I only enjoy Yahtzee, cards and slots…I don’t give a fuck if you make it to your levels.  I don’t even know what that means.

4. DO NOT SEND ME SEO IMPROVEMENT EMAILS OR TWITTER DIRECT MESSAGES ABOUT SEO CRAP ETC! There is a whole fake business world out there who has tried to sell companies on this SEO bullshit.  Here’s the deal, good content gets good views and a higher rank.  We’ve never used any of these scams for our website raannt.com or my personal blog here and I’m doing just fine! You’re all a scam!

5. While on that note, I can’t stand those Twitter people who have 60,000 followers and brag about it but follow 59,999 people.  Scam!!!!! You’re all phonies living in your phoney computer technology world.  Get a real talent. Enjoy Twitter for its mindless ramble.

6. And while I’m on that, I can’t stand those blogs that will promise you how they make $10,000 a month on their blog, but when I look, they’re ranked like 13 Millionth in the world and you have to pay to get their info! SCAM!!!! What can a website that is ranked so low teach me I don’t already know. If anyone knows how to make that much money on a website please let me know.  We get a shit ton of views on our website raannt.com and we don’t know how to make money with it! We’re open to any suggestions.

7. And then the e-mails….Cheaters, Cheaters and More Cheaters!

cheaters 1_peterismscheaters 2_peterisms

These are the most disgusting emails I have ever seen…and I get several a day! They come to my business email so I know they aren’t related to porn! Set up a separate email for your porn shit and lock it down! The best is some company called Discreet Extramarital Affairs & Relationships…DiscreetAdventures.com  And this is a STRAIGHT site.  But the gays are going to hell, right?  Ya’ll are crazy.  This is some sick shit!

8. Email, Email and more Email.  I must get hundreds a day.  I miss post cards and letters.  Whatever happened to teenagers writing notes.  Maybe as adults we should start the tradition of passing notes again. Do you like me check yes or no. Does anyone like me??? Hello, are you out there or are you just an email address???

9. People having issues with my Facebook statuses but not deleting me.  If I bother you that much, just delete me.  I don’t really care.  I delete people all the time who’s statuses I don’t want to read. Chances are, if you disagree with my politics or beliefs, but I keep you as a friend on Facebook, you’re there for my complete enjoyment of your foolishness! I don’t really care who I offend, unless it’s a child!

10.  That Progressive Insurance Lady…

progressive insurance lady_peterisms

That bitch is crazy…

For now

Peter…Let me know what makes you crazy below!


4 Responses to “Ya’ll Are Driving Me Crazy!”

  1. Shell Flower December 21, 2013 at 4:30 pm #

    Ah, high school notes…imagine if they had only been texts. Lame. We had comics, artwork, peace and anarchy signs–it was awesome. Uh, except that time the cops read mine, but yeah…other than that.

    P.S. Once you write that book, you can use your website’s stat’s to help you get published. It’s a venue to sell your book, as long as you use it wisely. Which leads me to a thing that drives me crazy–people only tweeting or blogging or Facebook-ing to sell their f-ing self-published novel.

    • pamonn December 21, 2013 at 5:04 pm #

      Thanks for the advice! By the way I have all of our notes from high school!

  2. danielj1292 December 21, 2013 at 8:07 pm #

    Seriously I have about 4000 emails that I haven’t read! I’m liking your Rant 😉 Hey, Merry Christmas!

  3. TerDelTayOSU December 25, 2013 at 6:39 am #

    Don’t you mess with Flo! I love her! I’ve been a bit absent from my Facebook lately cause of work and stuff. Plus, when I’m on twitter I get to say whatever I want cause of no parents on that network! Love your list! Very good! Also, I didn’t say tooooooo much about the whole DD thing, but I had to make my few comments and go: I was raised by ass-backwards hilljacks.

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