Dear 16 Year Old, Confused, Atheist, Homosexual Dude…

10 Dec

Serious2

I check out the blogs of every person who follows me as well as all of the people behind the likes and comments.  I feel like it’s the least I can do for someone taking the time to read the dribble that falls upon these computed pages.  Usually I follow them back, especially if I can relate to their blog in some way.

Yesterday I wrote a post about finding eternal grace, happiness, within ourselves.  I received a comment which stated “Nice congratulations. Hopefully I can find mine soon like you, it sounds great. Keep that, I’m pretty sure that there is no other feeling than inner-happiness.” 

And instantly I felt like I had been bragging, almost as if I was showing off a new car or watch.  I know that might sound crazy, but sometimes when I feel good about my life, I almost feel bad for showing it, as if I am snubbing it in the face of others who don’t feel as good as me.  I used to really struggle to feel good and be positive, but I’ve realized the shortness of life and I’m not willing to sit around and be miserable anymore.

I went to this guy’s blog and read his one and only post.  He started it by stating “I’m a 16 yr old atheist homosexual dude and I feel confused.” And instantly, it was like someone had catapulted me back in time to when I was in high school.  Although his story is a little different than mine, we both struggle with alcohol and drugs and he too had relationship problems.  The best part is at the very end.  “Confidence isn’t my problem, it’s my inner-happiness and excitement that won’t seem to light up.. I don’t know”

After reading this, I thought, wow! This kid has enough confidence to realize and get honest about his problems, he just doesn’t know how to fix them.  He wants inner-happiness, he just doesn’t know how to find it.  And here I am, a content 41 year old man who made it through those confusing teen years, lacking confidence to not be afraid to walk into a room and look people in the eye, a detail most of my closest friends don’t even know.

So I’ll tell you kid, let’s trade.  I’ll teach you how to find your inner-happiness and you teach me how to have that tough confidence so many people are attracted to.  After all, teamwork is the key to success, right?

Or maybe just like him…I don’t know

For now,
Peter

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One Response to “Dear 16 Year Old, Confused, Atheist, Homosexual Dude…”

  1. TerDelTayOSU December 12, 2013 at 1:26 am #

    I think a lot of us hate feeling good about our lives. When my life is good, my job is good and I don’t feel like I have a care in the world, but my friends or someone in my family is having a hard time, I feel as it I need to hide my happiness so that I do not bring them down further. But this also poses another issue. What is great for me, may be terrible for you. Or vice versa. Not knowing what it is like to struggle with drugs and alcohol, a good day for you may be not relapsing, while a good day for me is having a few drinks (although I am sober and just don’t like the stuff) after a long day at work and falling asleep cause I had one too many and luckily didn’t wake up with a hangover. I think what we need, and I am writing about this now, is to know now to listen empathetically and share positively.

    Great post

    Terry

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